What is Tantric Sex?

NOTE: This insightful and inspirational short, brief, succinct, and straight-to-the-point article by my 22-year-old Argentina friend Michael Miller first appeared on his Deviant Art (dA) gallery. As he has decided to no longer further update his dA gallery, I'm republishing the report here on my blog as dA admins/moderators might decide to deactivate his dA account for these reasons he specified.

Tantric sex isn’t just about pleasure — it’s a path to transcendence. It can help you break free from emotional pain, self-judgment, and fake societal roles to rediscover your natural, joyful self.

Most of us are raised to follow moral rules that force us to act in ways that don’t feel real. We learn to suppress our desires, especially around sex, creating inner conflict and pretending to be someone we’re not. Tantra challenges this. It says: don’t fake it — be real, be whole.

Tantra sees sex not as something shameful to hide or suppress, but as a powerful gateway. In a deep, conscious sexual union, we lose our ego, forget time, and feel deeply connected — not just to our partner, but to existence itself. This is what some call a cosmic orgasm.

But it’s not about chasing pleasure or quick release. Ordinary sex is like sneezing — it relieves tension but drains energy. Tantric sex is the opposite: it’s slow, meditative, and energy-building. Partners stay present, without rushing to climax, and let the energy move inward. This creates profound relaxation, joy, and even spiritual awakening.

Through this awareness, sex becomes sacred — not something to escape or obsess over, but a doorway to inner peace, love, and ultimately, enlightenment.

The Cosmic Significance of Tantric Sex

Tantric sex isn't just about physical release; it's a path to liberation and enlightenment, often described as a "cosmic orgasm." Unlike conventional morality that creates guilt and self-judgment, Tantra is a practical approach to understanding reality as it is. It encourages authenticity rather than forcing you to conform to unrealistic ideals.

Why Morality Falls Short

Traditional morality often leads to hypocrisy. By setting impossible standards, it makes people pretend to be someone they're not, creating an inner conflict between their true self and a false, "socially acceptable" self. This suppression doesn't lead to genuine change; it just hides who you really are. Children are born whole and authentic, but society's rules quickly force them into this split. This constant self-condemnation and pretense cause suffering.

Tantra's Approach: Embracing Reality

Tantra suggests that true satisfaction and happiness come from being real and authentic. It challenges the idea that self-sacrifice is always virtuous, instead promoting the idea that you must be happy and fulfilled yourself before you can truly help others. A person overflowing with their own bliss naturally benefits those around them, not through obligation, but through shared joy.

Sex as a Gateway to Deeper Experience

Tantra sees sex not as an end in itself, but as a powerful tool for profound experience. It's about moving beyond the typical quick release to a deeper, more meditative state.

Key elements of this experience include:

Timelessness: In the peak of tantric union, the past and future disappear, and only the present moment exists.

Egolessness: The individual self dissolves, merging with the partner and a larger sense of oneness.

Naturalness: You shed societal conditioning and connect with your primal, authentic nature, becoming one with the cosmos.

These three elements contribute to an ecstatic feeling. Once experienced, these sensations can be accessed through meditation and other practices, even without sex, eventually leading to a deeper state of being.

Tantric vs. Ordinary Sex

The fundamental difference lies in the intention and outcome:

Ordinary Sex: Focuses on a "peak orgasm" (intense excitement leading to release), which can be draining and temporary. It's about expelling energy.

Tantric Sex: Aims for a "valley orgasm" (deep relaxation and prolonged connection without ejaculation). It's about retaining and circulating energy.

In tantric sex, the goal isn't to reach a climax of excitement, but to maintain a relaxed, intimate embrace for an extended period. This process revitalizes both partners, generating new energy rather than losing it. The result is a sustained feeling of bliss, vitality, and inner peace that can last for hours or even days.

Ultimately, Tantra teaches that by embracing our natural instincts and exploring them deeply, we can transcend them and achieve a profound state of self-realization and connection with the universe.

Practical techniques:

Here are practical techniques for applying the wisdom of “true silence is the rest of the mind” in daily life. These draw from mindfulness, spiritual traditions, and neuroscience-backed practices, but they’re all very doable, even in a modern, busy life.

🌿 1. Sensory Grounding (Coming into the Present)
Why it works: The mind’s chatter often pulls us into the past/future. Silence comes when we return to the present moment or the “now” (as German philosopher Eckhart Tolle explained in his book “The Power of NOW: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment”: https://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Guide-Spiritual-Enlightenment/dp/1577314808).

Technique:

Try the 5-4-3-2-1 method:
5 things you can see
4 things you can touch
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste

Done slowly, this calms the nervous system and quiets the mind.

🧘‍♀️ 2. Micro-Meditations (30 seconds to 2 minutes)
Why it works: You don’t need a monastery or an hour—brief silence builds internal spaciousness.

Technique:

Close your eyes. Breathe naturally. Just watch the breath.

Every time your mind wanders, gently bring it back—without judgment.

Try this at:

red lights

before sending emails

during bathroom breaks

📵 3. Digital Silence Rituals
Why it works: Noise isn’t just audio — information overload creates internal noise too.

Technique:

Designate a “Tech Sabbath” (e.g., Sunday morning or the first 30 minutes after waking).

Use Do Not Disturb mode or grayscale your phone during breaks.

Practice “open-eyed silence”—sitting without a device, simply looking out a window.

✍️ 4. Thought Dumping (Silence by Emptying)
Why it works: Journaling clears the storm so stillness can follow.

Technique:

Try a “brain dump” journal: Write everything that’s on your mind—messy, unfiltered.

Then pause and sit quietly for 2 minutes—notice the difference before and after.

🛏️ 5. Transition Rituals for Rest
Why it works: Rest is more than sleep—intentional stillness restores deeper layers.

Technique:

Before bed: Sit or lie down in silence. Put your hand on your heart. Say:

“I allow myself to rest now.”

Let silence be the last thing you hear before sleep—no screens, music, or podcasts for the last 10 minutes.

🔁 6. Repetitive Tasks = Moving Meditation
Why it works: Chopping vegetables, folding laundry, or walking can become mental sanctuaries.

Technique:

Instead of multitasking (e.g. podcasts), do the task in silence, with full awareness.

Say to yourself:

“This is my silence. This is my prayer.”